My Best Friend Is Jealous Of My Boyfriend

Yes, and her name is Tasha. I know she might read this and become upset that I’m exposing her faultiness. But, this is exactly what happens when you hurt the feelings of your best friend, who happens to be a writer (shrug.) Tasha and I have discussed and settled our differences in private, but our relationship will never be the same. 

I had four roommates throughout college and we all became the best of friends. This friendship remained strong even after college as we all entered the real world. Tasha was one of my four roommates and we gained an even stronger bond through the years– we were more like sisters. The other two roommates have always had this pattern of: being in a relationship, having a big break-up, finding a new relationship in less than a month… and repeat. Tasha and I found this routine of theirs quite draining. Although we still loved them and enjoyed hearing about all the drama during their break-ups

But, since majority of our early 20’s was spent being single, Tasha and I spent more time together. We became inseparable. All we wanted to do was be single, make money, wear the latest fashion and attend every major event in the city. No rules, no limits or men to answer to - just making our days exactly what we wanted them to be. These were my most fun years and I couldn’t have picked a better partner to navigate through them with. Except, maybe somewhere along the line we became too dependent on each other for fun. 

Throughout these years I did entertain a few guys. I always kept my options open too. There was one guy, extremely persistent to stay in rotation and make his way to the number one spot. His name was Mike. We kept in contact daily for at least two years. We had sporadic dates and he made occasional visits at my house on the late night too. He was a great guy and I held on to him because I liked his company. Actually, I think I only stalled our official dating process because I was afraid of a life outside of the lifestyle I already had with Tasha.

My universe must’ve shifted, because one year I allowed Mike to make plans for my birthday. Tasha seemed a little uneasy about these birthday plans when I told her. However, at that time I understood. We spent all of our time together for years and this was my first birthday celebration that she wasn’t included in. So, I promised her that I’d be sure to end the night with her at a club.

My birthday turned out perfect. Mike put the icing on the cake that day- literally. After an amazing day spent with him, I’ll be honest I wanted nothing more than to show him how much I appreciated him in bed that night. But I couldn’t break my promise to Tasha. She had been texting me reminders all day, yet I noticed she ignored my pictures and texts messages that I sent about my day with Mike…

I decided to bring Mike to the club with me that night (no way I was letting him go that day.) We ended up meeting Tasha at the club and I could see the fury written all over her face when she seen him by my side. Usually she speaks to Mike, but tonight I didn’t even hear a “hi.” When the club finally ended she grabbed my purse and stated, “Say bye to Mike and I’ll put your stuff in my car.”

I told her that I wasn’t going home with her, I was leaving with Mike. She threw my purse back at me and stormed off. I really didn’t want to argue, I just wanted my heels off and my long-awaited birthday sex at that point. I ignored her tantrum and walked the other way. That night Mike also asked me to be his girlfriend. Without hesitation I said yes. I mean, why the hell not? He consistently made me feel special.

That next morning, I had no time to bask in my new romance. I immediately started receiving calls from my other two roommates. They called inquiring about me calling Tasha fat in front of everybody at the club. I was beyond confused- I never said that. There was never a time that night that it could’ve even been mistaken for me saying that. Luckily my other roommates were still loyal and believed me. That comment was completely out of my character. I shared the boyfriend news with the other roommates and as expected, they were happy for me. 

Totally different story with Tasha though. My text to her about it went unanswered. I even invited her to lunch to discuss the night before. She completely dodged my invitation. Her response was, “busy hanging with friends.” Who Tasha? All of your friends are my friends I thought but kept that comment in my head. I tried to reschedule and that was dodged with another excuse too. Throughout the week I called her, and she never answered. Before I knew it two weeks had went by without us speaking. I made my efforts, and I wasn’t going to cry over spilled milk. I started enjoying my new relationship. It felt damn good too.

Tasha and I attended the same nail shop, and our nails were on the same maintenance schedule. I knew I would see her in there eventually, and I did. She completely ignored my hello when I walked in. She walked out, I followed and confronted her in the parking lot. She began yelling about hearing rumors that I was talking badly about her and I think I’m better than her since I have a boyfriend now. These lies were getting ridiculous. I let her rant, but when it was my turn- I yelled back. I let her know that the fake drama and lies were unbelievable and she was the onlyperson upset that I had a boyfriend. I ended with saying this was the lowest and most childish thing she could ever do to me and I regretted our entire friendship. I even told her to keep lying and blame everything on me as long as she never spoke to me again. My middle finger went up and I walked away. 

Luckily, my relationship wasn’t a fluke and lasted longer than three weeks (I would’ve been so embarrassed if I fell out with my best friend over a fuckboy.) We actually became a respected couple around the city, too. About three months after the parking-lot showdown I received a message from Tasha saying she wanted to talk. We finally grabbed food and talked the next day. She apologized for the way she acted and said she was happy for me and my relationship. I listened, I forgave but I will never forget or call her a best friend again. 

All girls are possessive over their besties. As I mentioned earlier, when I noticed the tension with Tasha as my relationship began to form, I was understanding about it. I was willing to always make sure she had time with me too. But when the lying and rumors began; my understanding terminated. A best friend should never, ever publicly attempt to sabotage your happiness with jealous lies.  

My advice if you have a jealous best friend acting like Tasha? Middle finger up and walk away!