Sometimes Break- up Sex Is a Good Thing

Breaking-up from your significant other is never fun. No matter if the relationship lasted for years, months or days they usually end in unwanted emotions and quarrels that put you in a funk. Well, sometimes the break-up is mutual, and in that case, what’s so wrong with break-up sex? Your body probably needs the orgasm. The break-up process is a buildup of disappointment and unhappiness. By having sex, you can unleash all of your frustration for the last time and get that boost to move on. Plus, going back to the single life means you may be on a drought for a while- so get it while you can. If the sparks come back during break-up sex, maybe all you two needed was some love to mend the relationship. 

This perspective comes from my past experience. My break-ups would normally begin with a text message or conversation like: let’s talk, or things aren’t working out. Distancing happens too, and every day was full of awkward moments and communication. However, not in this instance. I was broken up with in a completely different manner – and I actually enjoyed it. The way this break-up was approached completely changed the chain of events that happened afterward. For the first time in my life break-up sex wasn’t a bad idea. 

This break-up was a surprise for me. There were no arguments prior to the break-up. We were both drowned in work and “networking” after work that I barely saw him. We talked on the phone and texted all day long. However, if we didn’t make plans (more like set appointments) to see each other, we probably never would. I saw this as a growing phase between us. This would only be temporary and once our finances were secured, we could go back to how we were before. You know the saying, “growing apart to get closer.” Apparently, I was the only one unbothered. My boyfriend at the time felt neglected and would rather be single.

He had come to my place with my favorite flowers, candy, and take-out. Which actually led me to believe this was to butter me up for some great sex that night. I was not expecting an eviction notice from his love life. As we ate my favorite restaurant’s chicken pad thai I began to tell him about my day and the argument I had with my coworker. That’s when he interrupted me with, “Are you happy?” Hell yeah,I was happy at the moment; this food was amazing. He chuckled and then elaborated on his question. He wanted to know if he had given me a happy relationship. He asked if he got down on one knee and asked to marry me would the answer be “yes.” No response, I froze up. He began to drop to one knee. I screamed, “Oh no please get up!” I knew deep down I would not marry him. I also knew that I wasn’t happy, I was just comfortable. 

After admitting he didn’t have a ring he was joking. He stated he felt the same way. He even admitted that at times he forgot he had a girlfriend and almost cheated on me a couple of times. He said it wasn’t intentional, but he never saw me and when he’s out, he enjoys the female attention. This night felt like an apology from him for not being able to make our relationship work. This wasn’t the break-up I was used to. And, truthfully, I wasn’t sad about his confessions because I was doing the same. 

Most relationships start off with the two individuals being friends and then becoming romantic. This relationship started with sex on the first date. I was sexually attracted to him first. Friendship or even a text back the next day was not on my agenda. But, after having sex we both felt this undeniable connection. We soon became inseparable. Our relationship began and somehow, we became better friends than lovers. Don’t get me wrong our sex is great. I have the slightest idea why we both didn’t try to have sex together more often.  My only reasoning is our careers had the best of us. And, because we both respected each other and our careers so much, we didn’t interfere with one another’s work practices. Sex and affection took the back seat. 

We talked about this for hours. Finally, we came to this good idea. It’s over; the timing of this relationship was wrong. We decided to have break-up sex before we go our separate ways, though….

Our break-up sex went on for about four rounds. By the way, this was a work night and we were up until four o’clock in the morning. We both called off the next morning. We decided to have more sex instead and order more take-out. That break-up never happened. That’s still my boyfriend to this day. 

Normally when women give in to break-up sex we are considered weak and naive. Your best friends will even tell you not to do it. In some cases, where maybe there is constant abuse, and infidelity, your friends are probably right. That man doesn’t deserve your body anymore. However, if you’re just constantly bickering and arguing with one another maybe love is all you need. Make love not subliminal posts on social media. Make love and not an enemy out of your ex. There was obviously something about their personality and character that attracted you to them in the first place. Find that spark again by having sex or just being affectionate and become one again. 

I’m an advocate for break-up sex. Every couple that once had a strong bond, owes it to themselves to give love another chance and have break-up sex. If break-up sex doesn’t spark any feelings that are worth hanging on to- maybe you two did all that you could do. Say goodbye and move forward.