Guide to Becoming a Good Sub
Fancy seeing you here, I’m sure we are all here for the same reason, and that reason is learning and educating ourselves on becoming a good submissive in, and outside the bedroom.
1. LEARN THE ROPES
The key is becoming a good submissive to yourself and to your partner is simple. Of course taking the necessary steps to get to being a confident sub, and that’s what I wanted to touch on in this blog.
Understanding what a submissive actually even is, is something we probably overlook when thinking about the literal term. A submissive is someone who willingly relinquishes control to another partner, mainly for a sexual fantasy or urge.
Now to play the other side of the field, for a dom, it is important to find the perfect submissive for you. Someone who is on the same page as you, has similar boundaries and matching fantasies.
2. COMMINUCATE BEFOREHAND
A conversation is absolutely needed before entering the bedroom. Talk with your partner about your limits, your expectations, and maybe even your hopes and fantasies that you wish to take away that night. Create a list and compare them with each others, the bullet points that you each have, make sure to keep those in mind when you head into the bedroom. If you have different bullet points, talk about boundaries and where both partners lie in the go’s, and the for sure no’s, and even the “open to trying”.
3. CONTINUE TO STAY SAFE
If you are a condom or use oral barriers, continue to use them and take safety steps! Don’t ruin your flow just because your new partner might not use condoms. You can still play it sexy and also be safe at the same time. Not to mention, getting tested frequently is super important when partaking in multiple partners, and if results come back the way you wish they didn’t, DO tell your previous partners. They will appreciate knowing for their own health and safety
Mundane acts such as these add a bit of spice when it comes to relationships. It is rewarding to both partners as the dom is in control but the sub is being taken care of, win win.
4. PRACTICE IN YOUR EVERYDAY LIFE
If you are the type of submissive that also enjoys submitting on everyday acts, remember that this is a choice and not a force of control. Remember that sub’s are ultimately not doormats. They still have feelings and require attention! Of course a good dom would know this, but always be sure to be on the same page. With practicing in everyday life, try using the following as some examples of dom/sub play.
Picking out your outfits
Asking permission to spend money
Deciding on dates, and what you eat
Seek approval to see certain people
Following a set of custom rules.
5. KEY TAKE A WAY POINTERS
The key to being a good sub is making this as playful as possible, but also not making anything hard for the dom. Yes, you can become bratty, but in the end it is not the dom’s responsibility to pry it out of you. You have to move with the flow and take their demands, of course consensually. Try new things, be open to each others wants and needs.
