How to prioritize Female Pleasure
Why is it that so many women are left humping their pillow post-sexy time as their male partners pass into a blissful sleep? I’ve had a number of hookups where I wonder if I could finish really quietly without my passed out partner hearing, and consider going to grab my vibrator or finishing it in the bathroom.
It seems that at least in heterosexual relationships, women’s pleasure is not being prioritized. In fact, straight women are the least likely to orgasm during sex. A study of over 50,000 sexually active people found that 65% of straight women usually orgasm during sex! This is less than the 86% of gay women and 95% of straight men who regularly orgasm during sex.
Also, most heterosexual women admitted to faking orgasms! A startling 2010 study found that 80% of heterosexual women fake orgasm during intercourse around half the time and 25% fake it almost all of the time! As someone who used to fake it, I understand that sometimes pretending to enjoy yourself feels like the best option if you know you aren’t going to get there otherwise.
Why is it that so many women aren’t having satisfying sex?
Most ladies feel like there is something wrong with them for not enjoying the type of sex that we are shown as “normal”. Most porn is made by men for men, so it is no wonder that it often doesn’t show the type of sex that is pleasuable for us. That paired with us being raised to please and be agreeable, leads many of us to yell out ‘yes!’, when perhaps it isn’t how we truly feel.
How can we prioritize our pleasure?
Spend more time on foreplay! Us ladies may take longer to get aroused than the fellas. If you are alone or with a partner, spend time warming yourself up before going in for the bullseye. Start fantasizing, caressing, touching and teasing yourself. Only touch your pussy once you are READY. Like the cock, the clit grows during arousal. If women aren’t aroused before penetration, the vulva doesn’t lubricate and penetration can feel uncomfortable. It is only once you are turned on that it starts to feel good!
For ladies that currently have a penis in our lives, try not putting it inside you. Hear me out! Under 20% of women can orgasm from penetration without clitoral stimulation. Tell your partner that you would enjoy him spending more time engaging in oral sex, sensual massage, or other non-penetrative activities. Only after he has made you cum, should you open discussion around penetration.
Use toys with a partner and during masurbation. Now is a great time to check out new amazing toys (click here?!). For those that can’t have a new partner, a new toy is as close as you are going to get! Oftentimes, toys can make you cum way harder than a partner any way! For those that have a partner, incorporate a vibrator during sex! I highly recommend it, it’s the only way I can orgasm during penetration! Check out the Glam Bullet for super strong vibrations or Dame Product Kip Vibrator
Engage in activities that make you feel good in your body. The reason that arousal drugs don’t work on women is because so much of our desire is in our head! Our body image, our relationship satisfaction, the way we feel about sex and masturbation all impact our ability to get turned on. Shifting your perception on all these things will help you have a better more satisfying sex life!
Watch better porn! There are sites that are made by women and are for women. They can help you think about what really turns you on and give you idea’s for self pleasure and pleasurable partnered sex. I suggest checking out Bellesa or Dane Jones.
Orgasms do not mean sex is over! So many times sex or masturbation ends after an orgasm. With partnered sex, it is often after the dude comes, with masturbation, it is often after we orgasm. However, women are capable of having multiple peaks, so once you orgasm try continuing sensation. The most insane orgasms I’ve had are often the second or third ones! It will feel weird for a sec and then it will feel REALLY GOOD!
Play around with different sensations! We often have a go to - get ourselves off strategy. There is nothing wrong with that, but experimenting with new sensations can lead to more intense orgasms. Try integrating clitoral stimulation with anal and vaginal stimulation. Use your hands, but also use toys.
We deserve to experience, ‘WTF IS LIFE’ pleasure! To make this happen, we need to learn what feels good for us and know how to ask for it during hookups. Spend time experimenting with your body and with different types of sensation and you will be able to discover how incredible female pleasure is!
