KINKS: DO’s and DONT’s
Sharing kinks with others could be a very exciting, yet scary conversation to have. We hope that the end goal of every conversation is to be productive, and actually taken into action later in the bedroom.
I’ve compiled the most helpful DO’s and DONT’s when it comes to kink play.
DO: BUILD A SHOPPING CART TOGETHER ON OUR SITE!
Of course you can get creative and use some house hold items for some kink play. However, pulling out your laptop and picking out essentials together such as lube, a new vibe, then of course adding on some items that you pick out and want to experience with each other. Doing this from the comfort of your own home might feel more vulnerable, since you don’t have store associates asking you what you’re into. Creating a space where you feel confident using the products you and your partner picked out will make the experience a lot more fun. Besides, the best moments during sexy time are the unplanned ones. The moments you giggle together, you can’t figure out the lingerie you just bought, or the new vibrator you picked out made you queef and you laughed at the silly sound, the point is… these little moments add on so much. Moral of this point? PICK OUT PRODUCTS TOGETHER.
DO: CREATE A SAFE WORD
This is rule of thumb for any sort of scenario when it comes to sexual play. Some couples simply communicate the words, STOP or NO. Some couples even come up with a phrase, “BANANA PANCAKE BABE” Literally could be ANYTHING. As long as both partners are fully aware of your safe word, well than, you’re safe <3
I had a friend let me in on their safe word, it was a fruit! Pineapple in specific. Shouting the word pineapple abruptly to their partner automatically alerts them to stop in any case, even outside the bedroom.
DON’T: CREATE EXPECTATIONS
Creating expectations for kink play could be a big turn off. Before getting into it, try not to have a planted vision of what you are expecting. Instead, try to be present, be open to surprises, new things you have never tried (of course consensual) and let the playfulness take action. There are no right’s or wrong’s when it comes to creating pleasure.
PRO TIP: Remember that kink play IS NOT ALWAYS SEX. Kink play could lead to a sensual massage, where you play the sexy masseuse that always leaves their patent with a happy ending. The outcome does not need to be sex, it could be completely the opposite, or end with oral, or a cuddle session, or… you finish the sentence.
DO: TALK BEFOREHAND AND GET CONSENSUAL
HAVE. A. CONVERSATION. This is SUPER IMPORTANT. Create lists together, get down to the NO NO areas, things you wish to not happen, things you are open to, and things you want to happen. Compare lists, this could also be a verbal conversation of expressing your turn on’s and of’s, find the points that match up and take it from there. Does your partner like getting their hair pulled? Choking? Spanking? Spiting? Just to name a few… the bottom line is to meet each other in the middle and to not overstep boundaries…
DON’T: OVERSTEP BOUNDARIES
…Which brings me to this point here. This could be a REAL buzz kill overstepping a boundary that was clearly stated off limits before hand. Even though you may have different fantasies and wants, having these experiences can eventually built up to your fantasies. Nothing comes too easy, you need to build trust, take steps together, and well… leave some excitement for the future!
DO: EMBRACE THE KINKS
Overall, the more kinkier you get with your partner, the more you start to learn about yourself. If you need to kick start an idea, heres one. Take role playing for example; You go out to a bar with your partner. You pretend you are strangers. You introduce each other, flirt, take a shot together, act like it’s a first date deal. Then, invite them home ;) (Well DUH my partner lives with me anyway) PERFECT. Let the spiciness fill the air and continue to flirt hard with each other. Then, when the Uber drops you off, hit the bedroom like it is the first time. This sounded real sexy in my head so I hope you can resonate with it too. If you want to take it up a step, try switching rolls, whoever is the sub, becomes the dom, and vise versa.
The adventure is yours to explore, and with these few tips I hope this helps clear some of the air of what to do in these kinky situations ;) Play safe, and use protection <3
